Finally sat down at my computer to blog and immediately heard my Paul-Dog come in, lay down behind me and and let out a big sigh. I am pretty sure I acknowled him when I came home but I don’t think I gave him a proper Aussie-dog acknowledging greeting so I turned my chair around and invited him up for some loving THe flow of love coming off of that dog was palpable. It’s a completely different energy than my black Lab, Reality, who is equally as loving but more of a “still waters run deep” kind of a gal. Where Reality will go lay on her bed next to my side of the bed and wait for me to say goodnight to her, Paul will follow me around and hang by my side like a shadow until I stop and acknowledge him.

I’m grateful for my loving animals who teach me constantly how to let the love on in.

This morning I was talking with someone I mentor who is having some feelings about a lot of changes going on in her life right now and in the midst of identifying some of those things it felt like she twisted off about two instances in our past together where something I said didn’t sit right with her. I really don’t like it when someone tells me that something I did or said doesn’t sit right with them and it is especially confusing when I feel hurt by this. When I got off the phone with her I prayed about this to learn what is my part and take only what is my part and clean that up. Do I need to make amends? What is the truth in this situation? And then I remembered that what this person was really, really wanting and talking about was to be loved. And perhaps at the time of our conversation she was having a difficult time letting the love on in so what came out sounded very defensive. My ultimate question to myself and the God of my understanding was to know if there was something in my word,thought or deed that I have done that I need to take responsibility about.

How many times have we gotten into situations like this in our lives whether it be at work or home or even standing in a check out line somewhere? It’s sometimes very difficult for us to remember that really the bottom line that we humans all want is to love and be loved. End of story. Why we need to go complicate it up beats the heck out of me.

I’m grateful that I have four gentle constant reminders in my life with my two cats and two dogs who are all about love and love me no matter if I walk in the house and don’t acknowledge them for half an hour til my consciousness comes up for air. These little four-legged gurus remind me not only what it looks like to let the love on in but what it feels like once the love comes through.

May you have and/or find gentle constant reminders for you to let the love on in.

Do you ever catch yourself doing or not doing something and then stop to wonder who the hell you really are? I mean, because the person you thought you were would have never done that thing or not done that thing, right? I realized tonight when a sane part of my brain questioned why I was making it so hard on myself to squeeze lemons with my bared hands, which I hated because I never got enough juice and what juice I got usually ends up in a sore that I didn’t realize I had. I realized that somewhere in my brain I had made up the “rule” that because I usually drank the “Real Lemon Juice” juice in my water and not the real lemons, that now that I had no more Real Lemon Juice and had to resort to the real lemon, I had to squeeze the precious juice out with my bare hands and not use the perfectly good lemon juice squeezer because David had bought that to use since he preferred the real thing to the juice.

What?

Once I realized the rule, of course, I abandoned it and used the lemon juice squeezer immediately which made using real lemons very easy as well as tasty.

It’s just another example of how I can be my own worst enemy sometimes. Have you ever found yourself out with something like this? There’s just enough science in my background that I know that this making-rules-that-don’t-help-myself is a pattern. And I have spent many, many years looking at how I think and behave so that I can wake up enough to make better choices in my life. Still, it’s interesting to see this sabotaging thing that I used to do with big wide sweeping brush strokes in my life show up in something as benign as denying myself the ease and comfort of using a juicer.

The good news is that some part of me recognized what I was doing and questioned it so that I could recognize what was going on and make a different choice. That’s good. I just need to keep listening to that part more often. I think often these days we get to going so fast that we don’t slow down long enough to ask ourselves where we’re going much less how we’re getting there. It’s okay to ask. It’s even better to listen.

I’ve used this analogy before because it made such a big impression on me, I think it was in the second Men in Black Movie’s when they opened up the head of this normal looking guy and there was a little alien in the driver’s seat in his brain. That’s how it feels when all of a sudden we notice a behavior or thought process that we’re doing or having. It’s as if we’ve been asleep at the wheel of running our lives and all of a sudden we wake up.

As one of my favorite meditation songs says, “don’t go back to sleep”. Sometimes life becoming easier for ourselves once we recognize what we’re doing is as simple as using a juicer.

So please, when life gives you lemons……use a juicer!

It isn’t often that I walk out of a movie feeling the need to do kickboxing moves that I don’t even know how to do, but I sure did this evening after seeing the movie, “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”. It was a totally unexpected surprise for me. So many times when everyone is saying that a movie is good, I just don’t experience it that way. But I trust Michael Cera and even Jason Schwartzman for that matter. Such an innovative and fun movie. And I did some mean kickboxing moves on the way back to our car, even if I don’t know how to do them properly. I felt good. POW!! Take that evil nemesis.

Maybe that’s what we’re missing right now as the world falls apart to fall back together again with everything changing and growing and evolving. We’re missing our pretend capes and our long blue leotards so that we feel like we can take on whatever life throws in our direction. We’ve forgotten how to do some really good pratfalls when life gives us a sucker punch to the jaw. When my brother Howdy (yes, that is his name) was 8, he went through a phase where he played “Dan August” who was a stunt guy. Howdy would come running down the hallway as fast as his little skinny legs could run while yelling at the top of his lungs and dive on the couch and over the couch, rolling on the floor and bounce up on his feet ready to take on any bad guys in the vicinity. He also used to do stunts when we’d go water skiing and Dad would get tired of us staying up on the skis for ever so he’d start taking the boat into circles. Howdy would hold on for dear life and then finally ski outside of the wake going ninety-to-nothing, let go of the roap and do a couple of cartwheels into the water. Always the entertainer.

Where are our heroes when you need them? There inside of us just waiting for us to break ‘em out.

Next time life throws you off balance, remember the hero who lives inside of you. What special talents do you have to unleash upon the world?

Do you ever catch yourself doing or not doing something and then stop to wonder who the hell you really are? I mean, because the person you thought you were would have never done that thing or not done that thing, right? I realized tonight when a sane part of my brain questioned why I was making it so hard on myself to squeeze lemons with my bared hands, which I hated because I never got enough juice and what juice I got usually ends up in a sore that I didn’t realize I had. I realized that somewhere in my brain I had made up the “rule” that because I usually drank the “Real Lemon Juice” juice in my water and not the real lemons, that now that I had no more Real Lemon Juice and had to resort to the real lemon, I had to squeeze the precious juice out with my bare hands and not use the perfectly good lemon juice squeezer because David had bought that to use since he preferred the real thing to the juice.

What?

Once I realized the rule, of course, I abandoned it and used the lemon juice squeezer immediately which made using real lemons very easy as well as tasty.

It’s just another example of how I can be my own worst enemy sometimes. Have you ever found yourself out with something like this? There’s just enough science in my background that I know that this making-rules-that-don’t-help-myself is a pattern. And I have spent many, many years looking at how I think and behave so that I can wake up enough to make better choices in my life. Still, it’s interesting to see this sabotaging thing that I used to do with big wide sweeping brush strokes in my life show up in something as benign as denying myself the ease and comfort of using a juicer.

The good news is that some part of me recognized what I was doing and questioned it so that I could recognize what was going on and make a different choice. That’s good. I just need to keep listening to that part more often. I think often these days we get to going so fast that we don’t slow down long enough to ask ourselves where we’re going much less how we’re getting there. It’s okay to ask. It’s even better to listen.

I’ve used this analogy before because it made such a big impression on me, I think it was in the second Men in Black Movie’s when they opened up the head of this normal looking guy and there was a little alien in the driver’s seat in his brain. That’s how it feels when all of a sudden we notice a behavior or thought process that we’re doing or having. It’s as if we’ve been asleep at the wheel of running our lives and all of a sudden we wake up.

As one of my favorite meditation songs says, “don’t go back to sleep”. Sometimes life becoming easier for ourselves once we recognize what we’re doing is as simple as using a juicer.

So please, when life gives you lemons……use a juicer!

I’ve been working on a project for the past few days transcribing interviews from women in all age groups and I’m amazed to hear that there are still so many of us out there (that includes you men as well) who don’t seem to know what it means to take care of ourselves. Some people have it down when it comes to caring for ourselves physically, they get regular massages and they get their nails done (yes, you men do to you know who you are…) but I’m talking about the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of caring for yourselves.

Here’s a top ten list to help you get started on your own list of what I consider to be important considerations to caring for oneself:

1. Be a tolerant free zone.

I think the grandfather of Coaching, Thomas Leonard coined that phrase. What I take it to mean is to be vigilant about weeding out those things, habits, and people in your life that you are tolerating needlessly. Address it or them and be done with it one way or another

2. Care for yourself as if you were the most important person in the world because you are.

You know the old lesson that the flight attendants tell us every time we board a plane and fasten our seat belt, right? If there should be a sudden drop in cabin pressure the air masks will drop…..and to put it on yourself first and then on the person seated next to you. It’s simple. We can’t be of any use to anyone else if we’re not in good shape first.

3. Find a reason to laugh and do it a lot

I don’t care who you are (except for maybe Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory and even he has his “Bazinga” moments) you can find something to laugh about. You know they have laughing clubs in India where all people do is go to laugh. And it’s good to laugh with other people. Laughter is infectious. Trying it, it’s good for what ails you.

4. Be willing to be willing to connect with something greater than yourself.

In the 12-step rooms that I’ve frequented over the years, they encourage you to surrender your addiction to a person, place, or thing to something greater than yourself. Use your imagination if you don’t believe in a higher power or a God. God, by the way, can be considered as an acronym for Good Orderly Direction.

5. Take time out to notice the magic that is all around you

Because it is and if you haven’t seen it yet, keep on looking. There’s always a sunset to see and a star to ponder. How did that flower grow up from between the cracks in the cement anyway? Look for the magic and don’t give up until you find it or it finds you.

6. Your body is a temple, treat it that way.

If you’re smoking, quit. If you’re thinking about it, don’t start. If you live to eat flip it around to remember that we eat to live. If you are letting your reptilian brain run your hormones and are acting out sexually, consider the sacred and wonder enlighten yourself to a higher specialness. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. Only then will you be able to truly love others with no strings attached.

7. Get plenty of sleep

I don’t care who you are, you need to get a good restful night’s sleep so that when your feet hit the floor you are ready to grab on to the day. If you’re lucky enough to work from home or have a private office and can grab a cat nap in the afteroon—DO IT!! My Dad has always sworn to the refreshing 20 minute nap. I prefer 30 minutes, but whatever suits you best. Get enough sleep, it really will make a different.

8. Give yourself 30 minutes of quiet time/meditation time everyday no matter what.

If you know of a meditation practice that you enjoy then make a commitment to do that everyday. If you don’t, then keep it simple. Light a candle or incense and as my yoga teacher says, “follow your breath”. Just let your thoughts come in and out. Set a clock so you don’t have to worry about the next thirty minutes. Ideally, if you can go outside, do that, but if not, see if you can go somewhere that is quiet and peaceful. Your mind, body and soul will love you for this gift that you are giving yourself.

9. Find a creative outlet to express yourself

I don’t care who you are, you have creativity in you that is just yours that no body else has. Do you write? Do you paint? Do you garden? Are you active in Second Life or gaming? Find a creative way to express who you are and do it often.

10. Allow yourself to love and be loved.

Seems simple doesn’t it? But it is probably one of the most difficult things that we will ever do as a human. It seems sad that this is true because really when you get down to it, this is what we are all really all about to love and be loved. But somewhere in the mix we get distracted by the illusion of life. Make a decision today, right now to allow a little bit of love in each day and to give a little bit of love out each day. By the end of the week, you may be pleasantly surprised at the results.

Remember, take care of yourself because when you do everyone around you benefits and most especially you do.

Last night it was my privilege to see the screening of the film, “The Dry Land” (http://www.thedrylandmovie.com/) hosted by the Austin Film Festival (http://www.austinfilmfestival.com/new/) at the Bob Bullock Museum Theater. The film is about a returning Iraqi/Afghanistan War Veteran and his resulting PTSD from the war as well as the reprucussions to his family and friends. Ryan Piers Williams, writer and director, captured on film what I understand is going on for many of the returning troops. In his blog, http://thedrylandmovie.com/blog/?p=163, you can read Ryan’s passion to helping our returning soldier’s find help and the impact of such statistics as, “”Last year, 347 military personnel were killed in the two wars, while at least 381 warriors took their own lives.” (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/23/opinion/23fri3.html?_r=1) on getting his message out and why this movie is so important to him.

I’ve never been to war, but my father did three tours to Vietnam and I have several friends who fought and survived in Vietnam as well. Two of them are Native Americans who have what I call “shadow shocks” of the vestiges of their experiences there even today, some 35 years later.

At 24, I experienced PTSD and severe anxiety attacks as a result of taking a little bit too much of a recreational drug that forced me to face the traumas of a severe car wreck that I had at 21, as well as a major house fire and other events that I refused to face much less acknowledge. The good news was I did knock on every door I could til I found a therapist who could help me to settle the ravages of my past. The way I experienced PTSD was physically, my teeth would literally chatter in my head. I could not stand any kind of a loud noise. I couldn’t listen to most kinds of music. I developed phobias such as driving over bridges, having any kind of kitchen knife showing on the counter and was constantly fighting for my sanity. I was convinced that at any moment, I could lose my mind. It’s a dibilitating disorder.

In my case, I was very lucky because I was able to find peace and awareness through talk therapy and medication. I can only imagine what it must be like for a soldier if I a mere girl growing up in Texas could feel the level of fear, shame and guilt that I did over my past.

I have a step-brother who is around 33 now (I haven’t seen him since he was four) who was a medic over in Iraq, I believe he did a couple of tours. From what I know of him, he’s always been a quiet, thoughtful person who has a very sweet way with animals. Evidently when he and his medic friends returned from Iraq, the stories they told were quite bone chilling. I’m pretty sure that my step-brother has had a difficult time of re-adjusting to the world back home and It is my understanding that he is certainly not talking about it or seeking help. What I know I can do for him is to keep him in my prayers and when I do have the opportunity to interact with soldiers, to treat them as I would hope others treat my step-brother.

I went to see this film not so much because I didn’t already know about the devastating effects of the war on humans but because I wanted to be able to support the people who through their creativity can, as Ryan Piers Williams said in the talk after the film last night, “spark a conversation about the effects of the war (such as PTSD) on the soldiers and their family and friends.”

I’m grateful to both my brothers who I know are both active in various capacities helping returning soldiers. I’m grateful for my dad and the life he put into the service for what he believes. I only regret that I can now see today in my ripe young age what it must have been like for him to return home to a country under change, his own life under change and no way to really communicate what he underwent with his family and friends and himself.

Do what you can where you can, you never know what one little word, tilt of a listening head or willingness to help will do for someone else.

Had a wonderful conversation with Author, Coach and Vision Quest Leader Catriona MacGregor about her latest book, “Partnering With Nature: The Wild Path to Reconnecting with the Earth” on www.blogtalkradio.com/hope42day. IMHO, Catriona is beyond being just a tree, plant and nature advocate, she is truly walking her talk and has partnered with nature and is sharing what she has learned with others so that they can also learn how to partner with nature.

Her book is rich and dense, full of stories about her experiences as well as exercises that we can learn how to interact with nature that is all around us, like “tree surfing”. Catriona says, “I refer to this practice as Tree Energy Surfing because it feels like your are “surfing the tree’s energy system with your hands and body.” In this exercise, she gives you a simple outline for Tree Energy Surfing as well as signs you can look for of a beneficial energy exchange or signs of harmful or depleting energy exchange.

So you know I had to go Tree Energy Surf with our big ole Cottonwood again. I feel so connected to this tree that has stood outside our bedroom window lo these many years, that really today’s exercise was just a matter of standing closer to it with my body. It certainly does have nice steady strong energy but gentle strong energy if that makes sense.

What I noticed was that after the tree and I surfed each other as I was turning away to go back inside I noticed that our “specimen” Crepe Myrtle is in the midst of shedding it’s skin to let the smooth Cinnamon bark show through. I spent about ten minutes helping to peel away the bark that was hanging from various branches and I’m pretty sure if the tree could have shaken like a dog after a bath, it would have! I’ve always felt like the Cottonwood Tree was a “mother” tree so I wonder if she encouraged me to help the Crepe Myrtle? Hadn’t noticed the shedding bark before today.

I know most of my family and many of my friends have considered me a “tree hugger” (like that was a bad thing) for a long time now but they haven’t seen nuttin yet! I have a feeling now that I know how to Tree Energy Surf, I’ll be trying this out with all kinds of trees whenever I can and comparing what, say, the Crepe Myrtles feel like to a Mountain Laurel.

That sound you’re hearing now is me trying to sound like the rustling leaves of a tree as I go!

Surf’s on!!

As a woman who has pretty much lived most of her days in the South, we tend to have these velvet hammer sayings that sound really nice and sweet on the outside, such as “Well Bless his/her heart” and on the inside can be full of ooey gooey marshmallow stuff or coconut covered anvils. When it comes to all things spiritual the saying, “everything is unfolding as it should” can fall into the same category.

Often times people throw out “everything is unfolding as it should” as a last panicky resort to keeping everyone from running away wildly when it seems as if life has taken a very bizarre turn on the road to happiness. People don’t like pauses, much less silence, so when times are tough and we don’t have a clue as to how the hell they got there nor when they’re going to turn around…that’s my theory as to how these swifty slogans get started.

Except for in cases like I seem to be having here lately where so many good things are beginning to come my way spiritually, mentally, emotionally, career-wise, etc. etc. that this is also an occasion that in my past would have called for me to run away wildly from all that was good because it also was too much for me to handle. Then, “everything is unfolding as it should” becomes a calming mantra to keep me inside my body, breathing and doing the next right thing (whatever that might be).

Years ago, when I was first exposed to the idea of life/God/spirit/the force loving us and caring for us in way that we could see manifested in our lives, every time I heard these ideas I would cock my head to the side like a curious Terrier waiting to see which way the ball would be thrown. Even after many years of having evidence upon evidence upon evidence of a loving force at work in my life, when someone spoke as if there was a loving force at work in their lives (in all our lives) I immediately felt like I was an outsider–that kind of love and caring was for everyone else but me.

Luckily, something is at work within me where today as I see many of the visions I have had for my life coming to fruition such as finally getting off my derriere and making a commitment for my writing and hosting a blog talk show and creating a talk show for the networks…I really know that everything is unfolding as it should. There is a new calmness to all of this today that I have never experienced before when I would sidle up to a dream being realized.

Maybe I’m learning that just as the Chinese Symbol that represents chaos can also represent opportunity that slogans such as “everything is unfolding as it should” can be interpreted the same way…it just depends on which way we’re looking at it.

This morning I was awakened out of a deep sleep by a friend needing to talk and so I sat on the lounge chair we have nestled up to the window seat while I listened and awakened. About ten minutes into our discussion a Hummingbird darted towards the two big window panes and hovered parallel to my face until i had acknowledged that I saw him. I’m pretty sure that he was reminding me to change their food…it had been four days after all!

Later on it occurred to me to look in my Medicine Cards to see what Hummingbird means. Here’s what it says, “Hummingbird is associated with the Ghost Shirt religion, which taught that a certain dance done properly would bring about the return of the animals, and that white people would disappear. Once again the Original People would know the joy of the old ways. In Mayan teachings, Hummingbird is connected to the Black Sun and the Fifth World. Hummingbird can give us the medicine to solve the riddle of contradiction of duality.” It says much more but the piece I want to highlight today is this, “It is said that Hummingbird conjures love as no other medicine does, and that Hummingbird feathers open the heart. Without an open and loving heart, you can never taste the nectar and pure bliss of life.”

After reading this, I then recalled that at about the time the Hummingbird appeared, my friend and I were deep into conversation about her aging parents and about the details of the new house they had moved into that wasn’t conducive to the ease of the aging. I could feel myself wanting to help “fix” my friends parents and noticed that my stomach was feeling tighter and tighter bound. Just looking at the Hummingbird helped me to remember what was important and to let go of things that I couldn’t control so that I could have an open heart to what my friend was saying. She was actually in a place that was full of love and peace for her parents and was able to understand that her mother did not want to talk about difficult things like, why she had moved into a home with three sets of stairs. Instead my friend was willing to “meet” her mother where she was at. I, on the other hand, had been trying to force solutions that weren’t even being asked for by anyone!

I’m grateful for the connection that I have for most of the living things in our world. When I was brushing my teeth this morning I noticed a very tiny red dot slowly climbing up the porcelain walls of the sink. When I looked closer, I saw that it was an itty bitty teeny weeny spider (no, it was not a tick!) I picked it up and put it on the counter. I wondered why my first instinct was to save that little life instead of just washing it down the sink, but I know I felt better because I had.

It’s the little things in life that can open our heart wider when we are willing to let them in. I suspect that have one heckuva spiritual crowbar to pry the doors open….

I have a good friend Sandy who I “re-met” in 1990. It is a crazy story of how we met in 1990 on the way to a camp out with a bunch of friends. She and I were both planning to meet with this guy we knew and this guy had told us about each other. We’ve gone over the day of our meeting many times and figured that both of us left from Austin to the camp out at Enchanted Rock at the same time and recall passing each other at least once or twice. When we finally reached our destination, he introduced us and I believe it took Sandy and I about ten minutes to realize that we just might be pretty good friends and to leave the guy behind.

Later on in the evening, we discovered that way back when we were in elementary school her Dad had been our family’s Minister at the Episcopal Church we went to in San Antonio and furthermore one of my first friends in Austin, Marianne, had been Sandy’s big sister’s best friend in high school.

Suffice it to say, we’ve been friends for a good long while now and have been through thick and thin with each other. So when Sandy raised the flag for help for various and sundry things that she needed to do in the new home she had just bought, well I was happy to oblige. We spent a good couple of hours in the Texas heat this afternoon putting together a hardy plastic shed from Home Depot. It would have been a tedious process for just one person and way too many directions to follow for sure but for two of us, we manged to turn it into a fun time with songs and skits about everything. I’m sure if someone had been listening to us they would have thought we were children with very deep voices. We laughed a lot at catching ourselves making things much harder than needed like the time Sandy realized that she was squishing herself between a part of the roof that we were putting a little window in and the guest house. About five minutes into the struggle she started cracking up laughing because she realized that all we had to do was move the piece a little ways out and then there’d be plenty of room for her to fit behind so she could screw in the piece.

I also learned how to get very old nails in long leaf pine boards to stand up straight using a hammer and then root them out using various crow bars. I don’t know why but one of us started getting country songs into our head and before we knew it we were singing, “skippity do da, skippity day it’s a hap happy day…”. It’s a good thing I had to leave to go home and clean up for date night with my husband when I did because I know I’d be really sore in the morning.

What I learned from today is that no matter what work you have to do in front of you, if you have someone to do it with that you can have fun with than whatever you are doing becomes fun. I even found myself better able to pay attention to the directions for the shed to make sure we had the right bar hooking up with the right thinga-ma-jig. Crazy as it may sound, I can’t wait to go over and help Sandy again. It has occurred to me that there is a bit of Huckleberry Finn going on here but I’m okay with being Huckleberried!

The lesson I learned today is that it is good to ask for help and really fun to ask a friend to help you. I’m glad Sandy asked for help and I had such a fun time helping her. Who knew that lo those many years ago when my brother, Howdy, and I would play cards for hours and hours and hours and sing songs the entire time that it would be training for being able to have fun and bond while you work.

Everything is more fun with friends!