Today while I was talking with my mentor I realized that I “know” more than I think I know (not to be confused with “I don’t know what I don’t think I know”).  Over the past couple of weeks, we’d been throwing around the idea of either leading a teleclass together (workshop done over the phone) or I’d offer one on my own. On occasion, we’d also talk about my offering a retreat again.

The last time I offered a retreat was two years ago and that particular one was at a very expensive place that ended up costing me (in fact, I had to pay to attend my own retreat).  It was a humbling experience and a learning experience for me being as how it was the first retreat I’d lead where I lost rather than earned money.  So I put leading retreats on the back burner.

When my mentor prompted me to see if I would commit to leading a teleclass, I realized that what I really wanted to do was offer a retreat and when she started asking me questions about the retreat (that I had just committed to), I soon realized that I already “knew” what the retreat would be about, what materials I would use, where it would be, what it would cost and within a relatively short period of time I knew when I would have it.   I knew more than I thought I knew.

I bet all of us have examples of times when we found out that we knew more than we thought we knew.  When has that happened for you?  What happened for you to realize you already had the answer?

It took listening to coverage on NPR about Kurt Cobain (inspired the Grunge movement, died as a rising star back in 1994) for me to finally consider getting really intentional about my work (coaching, writing, web radio interviewing).  I mean, don’t get me wrong, when I was working in an 9-6 job going 90 to nothing recruiting people from all over the world and attracting new clients I had “to do lists” all over the place. And I did quite well. And made good dinero too!  I realize now, that I was using my “to do lists” also as my intentions list.

So back to Kurt. In the story, they talked about how successful Kurt was and, of course, how he wrestled with his fame as well. One of the practices that Kurt did everyday was to write down what he intended to do with his songs and music. And he was very specific about it.  I don’t know, maybe it’s the rebellious spirit in me (smells like teen spirit) but for some reason just knowing that Kurt wrote down his intentions/goals and was specific about them (and very successful, did I say that? very successful) was enough for me to begin writing down my intentions/goals again and getting really specific. I figure if Kurt could do it, I sure can too.

Although I’m very connected on social networking sites and I use my Android all the time, for me, there is nothing better than writing down my days intentions on a yellow legal pad. And the ink has to be blue.  I put dashes out to the side of each intention and check them off as I get them done. I also label the top of each page “TO DO” and date it.  What I don’t get done, I transfer to the next day and re-prioritize.  As I’m doing my day if an idea pops into my head for something that I want to get done, I write it down on my list.  If there are phone numbers/emails/addresses to go with it, I put that down too. Yes, I know it would be much more efficient to use a program in my phone but for some reason I really prefer writing it out.

Maybe writing out my goals enacts a chemical release in my brain much like crying tears releases chemicals too. Who knows? I just know writing down what I want to do and accomplish helps me to get things done.

How about you?  What intentions can you be specific about and write down/type up?

Warning, the blogger writing this post has a mind filled with conversations and information from Political Science class this afternoon!

On my very first day in boarding school at the tender young age of 15, I walked into my room with Pink Floyd’s “Us and Them” blaring from my room mate’s stereo.  That was the fall of 1973 and the song continued to follow me along my journey at the Academy.  Here it is a few decades later and this song popped into my head again while hearing the Poli-Sci Professor explain the “definition of poverty” and the disagreement and definitions between the Liberals and the Conservatives.

I realized again that “we” are getting all caught up in the us vs. them syndrome again.  For instance, it was said that “liberals talked about the near poor, those who would be in poverty without some kind of governmental benefit and the conservatives say that “the poverty rate only takes into account income and not assets such as cars, homes, etc.  Then we talked about welfare and for the first time since this class began, a number of students began to talk.  Some of the students had some pretty grounded opinions but others seemed to be parroting what they had been fed. At least, I remember that was how I was when I first began college lo those many years ago. I respected my father so much that I never stopped to consider how I really felt about what was going on around me politically nor cared to learn what it all meant.  So glad I’m in a different place about it today!

There’s examples of us vs. them all around us, we humans seem to know how to pit ourselves against each other really well.  Must be some kind of reptilian brain response to step out of the egg and on to someone’s head before they can do it to us.  But in the real scheme of things, in growing and expanding our beings as much as we possibly can…isn’t it really about listening to each other and finding a common ground to then find a way to work together better?  For example, there is someone who I’ve had long and involved conversations about Global Warming.  I realized soon into our first conversations that this person was very hot under the collar about what they believed (there is no such thing as Global Warming) and so no matter what I said to them, they were not going to “hear” (or care to hear) my point of view.  So, I had to step out of my own opinion about Global Warming and look at the bigger picture…set aside the labels.  I asked this person if they could agree that the major ice caps were melting (yes) and could they agree that Texas is experiencing a horrific drought (yes) and could the agree that the North and East seems to be having harsher winters (yes)…so then we could both walk in agreement towards finding solutions of how to either help heal or prevent the situations.

Let go of the labels.  Lean forward into understanding.

It’s not about us vs. them, actually it’s about the we.  Who can you lean forward into understanding better?

Shine on you crazy diamond!

Shine on you crazy diamond!!

Or so they say that the “real world” is the one where we are working for a living, providing for ourselves and others, etc.  I always notice when I’ve been away from the busy life that I lead, the level of the energy that circulates in and around me.  It is truly amazing.  So nice to be able to ratchet yourself down enough to really take in what is happening in the moment without feeling like you have to do something.

Today we took one whole day to tour around the island.  Stopped at a couple of places along the north side where the waves are big and the currents are vicious but the water is the most incredible color of greens and blues.  There are sticks stuck in the  sand all up and down the beaches to mark where the turtles have come up to lay their eggs so the biologists know where to return the hatchlings so they can make their annual trek to the sea.

Now not only does my brain feel full from all that it is taking in, but my heart feels full as well.  I feel grateful to be alive.  what are you grateful for today?

Oy vey! The good news about today is that I finally enjoyed a thorough swim through of the Palancar Reefs in

Palancar reef - Cozumel

Cozumel–complete with swim throughs and diving at 84 feet without ANY panic attacks. It was pure joy.  The animal life is extraordinary.  There were baby fish nurseries everywhere, two big sea turtles and lots of beautiful coral and sponges.  It was so nice to just enjoy the dive instead of being afraid for the onset of a panic attack.

Then we decided to go back to Paradise Reef (maximum depth of 45) to see the Sea Horses (which were bigger than anyone had ever seen before and all kinds of solid colors).  My husband and I were the last into the water and had stood up with our BC’s on and were scooting to the seat where we could put on our fins and I inadvertently knocked a full tank right onto the arch of my foot. YOWSER!  I think it may be sprained but I’m happy to report that I am going to live (insert smile).

Instead of getting all melodramatic about missing the Sea Horses and a long dive (75 minutes!), I had a nice broken English/broken Spanish conversation with the Captain of the boat and one of the dive helpers about the Independence Day celebrations tomorrow.  They both took such good care of me with bags of ice and concern.  After it happened and I assured the Dive Master that my foot was not broken, I was taking off my wet suit and noticed the our dive assistant, Oscar, had the most concerned and worried look on his face.  I assured him that he was no problemo and that the tank falling was certainly not his fault.  You just can’t imagine how loving the Mexican and Mayan people are down here you guys.

Need to do some more exploring about Cozumel, according to the taxi driver last night who, conveniently, used to be a tour guide for Cozumel, has a history of being considered a holy place for the Mayans who also believed that every Mayan should make a pilgrimage at least once in their life times.  And to think that I’ve been here so very many times, how truly blessed I am.

I’m off to eat dinner in the Restaurant on site. I believe it is Italian tonight.

Where in your heart of hearts do you think you need to make a pilgrimage at least once in your lifetime?

Blue Parrot Fish

…even when it is clearly not!  That’s one of my favorite Thomas Leonard sayings (father of Coaching).  We landed in Cozumel today, thank you sweet Spirit above for green grass, vibrant green trees, all kinds of shades of blue ocean water and plenty of delicious guacamole!   Our main purpose for enjoying Cozumel is for the diving, of course!  And as we are getting just a wee bit older….we now get to indicate what meds we’re on when we sign up for the week.

Today, my husband has been temporarily derailed (thank you mom for all your help stateside!) because of a particular med that he is on etc. etc. etc.  So he’s understandably disappointed that he may not be able to dive tomorrow a.m.  but hey, so we don’t go diving right off the bat and we get to sleep around the beautiful pool and catch up on one of several books.  Sometimes I really do trust when things work out this way.  Besides, I’m feeling so mellow just from smelling the beautiful ocean that I’m just going to decide to see how perfect this present really is, even though it doesn’t appear to be right now.

Also, there will be no graphics on this blog until I can get David to show me how to use his lap top.

Until tomorrow, I wish you much happiness and a peaceful heart!

There’s no place like home away from home, there’s no place like home away from home…..

What a gift! Today I interviewed my friend Shannon Ogg on my Blog Talk Radio Show “Hope42Day”.  Among his many talents, Shannon is a Reikki Master, Channeler, Healer and all around fun guy.  One of my favorite Shannon sayings is, “going at the speed of love”.  That just about says it all doesn’t it.

One of the bits of wisdom that I held on to today was to be in the moment.  Right now there’s all kinds of stuff going on in the world from wars in the Middle East to droughts in Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and Africa to floods.  In the U.S. we’re also experiencing remembrances of 9/11/2001 all over our broadcast media.  In many aspects it is important for us to remember the past and hopefully learn from our history and it is equally as important for us to move forward and look down at our feet to remember that we are here today.  What is the now that we are experiencing each moment, and that moment and that moment?

I noticed that as my husband and I were returning from dinner tonight, the skin on his arm from our mingling while holding hands felt so good to me.  How great is that considering we’ve been together 21 years now?  It such a marked difference from how I feel about my husband ‘s skin today compared to when I was 10 and having to sit near my little 8 year old brother in the car.  There was a definite line of demarcation down the center of the bench seat in our Buick Station wagon and of course you know we drove each other mad walking one little finger over the line or shifting a foot ever so stealthy over the hump in the middle to the other side.

When I’m scared, it’s not so easy to stay in the moment. In fact, that is the time when I really want to take off light years ahead in the future to avoid pain.  But I like what Shannon had to say today about thanking each event that comes into our life and trusting the wisdom that will be revealed to us.  It’s a different way of thinking. It’s actually a trusting way of considering the universe and all the events that occur around, to and through us.

I invite you to spend a few moments today just relishing the moment. Give yourself permission to clear your mind and allow whatever is there for you…to be.  Life is like a collage of moments, enjoy your masterpiece in the making.

Another good thing that happens when you’ve cleaned out the garbage of your psyche whatever choice of routes you took (therapy, recovery – 12-steps, guru, spirituality, deep meditation and contemplation, etc.) is that, well speaking for myself of course, I really want more of the good things in life.  And that includes the people who I surround myself, the interactions and communications I have with others and the level of joy, respect, learning and fun that comes from the exchange in our relationship.

Years ago, we had a couple stay in our home for a weekend. I’d known the husband from high school days and had always enjoyed his company.  Thinking because they had been married  for a long time it had to  mean they had a happy marriage –WRONG—we thought it would be a fun weekend.  Well, as it turned out those two bitched at each other the entire weekend. David and I could not wait for them to leave. Cursing at each other, talking mean to each other, talking bad about each other behind their backs…yuck. I felt like our entire home needed to be disinfected. Today we socialize with other couples who truly enjoy each other and who treat each other with respect.  We also have learned how to set better boundaries and have never invited anyone that we don’t really know into our home since then. Our home really is sacred ground that we want to respect. We also make it a point, most of the time, not to curse at each other, to be kind to each other and to not intentionally hurt each other.

In Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Mastery of Love” I love what he has to say about asking for the kind of love you want and setting boundaries. Here’s a small passage:

“In the track of love , you are giving more than you are taking.  And of course, you love yourself so much that you don’t allow selfish people to take advantage of you. You are not going for revenge, but you are clear in your communication. You can say, “I don’t like it when you try to take advantage of me, when you disrespect me, when you are unkind to me.  I don’t need someone to abuse me, verbally, emotionally, physically.  I don’t need to hear you cursing all the time.  It’s not that I am better than you; it’s because I love beauty.  I love to laugh; I love to have fun; I love to love. It’s not that I am selfish. I just don’t need a big victim near me.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, but I cannot take responsibility for your dream. If you are in a relationship with me, it be be so hard for your Parasite, because I will not react to your garbage at all.” This is not selfishness, this is self-love. Selfishness, control and fear will break almost any relationship. Generosity, freedom and love will create the most beautiful relationship: and ongoing romance.”

Now obviously, this passage was taken out of context (Read the book, it is really good!)…because you need to know his definition of “dream” and “parasite” to understand what was meant in this passage, but I think you can get the general gist of what is being said.

My experience in setting boundaries is when you first start setting them, at least for me, it was uber uncomfortable!   However, the more I set them the easier it got. In fact, it became more uncomfortable not to set appropriate boundaries where and when they were warranted.  I do know that when you are setting them by vocalizing them if you are coming from a place of true love for yourself and the other person, they will “get” what your intention is even if they don’t completely understand what is going on initially.

It’s as if when we step up to play a higher game of being, we automatically encourage others to do the same.  I mean, at least that is what has happened to me when people in my life have set boundaries with me but in such a way that I feel their love and respect for me and their unspoken belief that I, too, have a higher way of being.

Setting boundaries

There are so many things that I can take a stand about from animal abuse (don’t you dare!) to watching where you flip your fins when you’re scuba diving (and don’t hit the Coral on your way down!).  But sometimes, when it comes to taking a stand about what I want to do for my life’s purpose (helping others to find hope and joy AND earning/attracting more than enough to live well) it’s not as easy for me to do.

In Edward Hayes’ book, “Prayer Notes to a Friend” in one of such notes he says, “I agree with the American writer Henry Miller, who said, “The full and joyful acceptance of the worst in oneself may be the only sure way of transforming it.” He goes on to say, “Those are powerful words, they suggest how self-defeating it is to hate those dark aspects of ourselves of which we are ashamed.  Even more destructive are attempts to perform exorcisms on our inner beasts, seeking to drive them away instead of converting them into our personal angels who might then assist us.”

Now, I have to tell you that I’ve thought of changing my inner beast in all kinds of hopeful things but I’ve never quite landed on an image as powerful as converting that inner beast into my own personal angel.  That kind of love almost cracks my heart open.

How does this dove tail into taking a stand you might ask?  Well, because before I/we can take a stand about something or ourselves, it seems as if we have to accept all of who we are first good, bad and the ugly.  Once we’ve accepted ourselves we can take a stand for what we believe in.  At least in so far as that stand has to do with what we believe our life purpose is and what we bring to this banquet called life.  I used to joke that I loved “leading from behind” because I always seem to put myself in situations where I’m the second in command, the Tonto to your Lone Ranger, when it comes to work situations and never quite have the courage to risk getting out in front of the pack and possibly falling flat on my face and landing a few bruises on my chin.    It’s a helluva way to not fully live your life by not taking a stand for who you want to be and how you want to show up for your life.  Seems like there should would be a whole lot less baggage to cart around if we just stepped forward, doesn’t it?  And converting that inner beast into your own personal angel to help you along the way.

How are you either going to take a stand for your life or how have you already done so?  Curious minds definitely want to know!

Taking a Stand for Yourself!

Unless you’ve been hiding out under a bush, you’ve probably read or heard about the wild fires that have been raging across Texas since early summer.  This past Labor Day weekend, those of us who live in Central Texas witnessed or experienced huge fires from Steiner Ranch to Pedernales Falls to Bastrop.  Some are still going on as I type this.  I love us Texans because we are a group of people who can really rally the troops when all hell breaks lose.  Already this morning every news station I turned to on the radio was giving out information of donation drops that had been organized overnight to help the victims of the fires as well as the men and women who are out there fighting the fires.

Having been born into a family that tends to go for the gusto when it comes to helping people in disastrous situations, my DNA began to thrum with questions of how I could best be of help, especially for the animals involved.  I had all kinds of ideas running through my head from going to help out a friend of mine’s mother-in-law who had lost her ranch, but rescued all her horses and in-door pets, to helping a fellow FB friend who had a lot of animals that she had to evacuate because of a fire.  No clear answer was coming to me, but I kept praying.

I puttered around doing my morning chores and put the garden hose into the pool to fill it up a bit turning  the nozzle lever off on the sprinkler attachment so that the water would come out of the regular spout and returned to finish reading the paper and my first cup of coffee.  Soon after I sat down the dogs’ curious movements outside the window caught my attention.  Our old Black Lab was in her high alert stance with all the hackles up on her back as she trotted to and fro on her toes and our Aussie was running back and forth along the edge of the pool with his nose close to the ground. At first, I mistakenly assumed that somehow the sprinkler attachment lever had been flipped and so they were getting excited because of the rigorous spray of water but then as I looked longer I could see that the commotion in the pool wasn’t just located at the end of the hose but was moving towards the other end of the pool.

And then I saw her.  A beautiful Morning Dove who had some how landed in the pool and was frantically trying to fly out of it with her very wet wings.  I corralled the dogs into the kitchen and returned to carefully rescue the startled Dove.   With both hands I gently cupped her up out of the water (and kissed her head to let her know I wasn’t going to eat her) and put her over near the water bowls where the birds gather to drink.  She sat on the edge of the fence very still. Something (was she communicating with me?) was letting me know that this Dove’s preference was for me to let her alone in a safe place outside so that she could gather herself after such a terrifying event.  I went back inside to retrieve a towel so that I could put it down on the fence for her to sit on while she dried off in the cool morning air but when I returned with the towel, I startled her so that she jumped off the fence.  She could only flutter on the ground  so I carefully cupped her and brought her back up to lay her on the towel in a  little Mourning Dove huddle.  I looked out the window every five minutes or so but she didn’t move a feather as far as I could tell and I’ve watched a lot of birds in my life.

All during this time, I kept battling between  the still knowing  inside of me that knew the best action to take was to leave her alone  so that she could use her own Dove wisdom to heal and that frantic insecure voice that says, “you should bring her inside and put her in a box and get her seed/water and gravel -n- grit….”.  Finally, at about twenty minutes later I want outside to check on her and as I opened the door she took off upwards and across our yard with a strong healthy flight.   Turns out, the still knowing was right.

I also believe my prayers about what to do for the animals effected by the fires was answered on the wing of a Dove.  I was reminded by a friend that many animals and birds have been savagely uprooted from their homes and will be flying and running to new territories all over the place. I know that one of the best actions I can take is to help those animals that come to our home.  Just before I got into the shower today, I looked out the bathroom window to see several Finches hanging and talking on their seed sock and right next to that Cardinals and other song birds hanging on their feeder and across the way doves and squirrels gathered around their feeders. On our porch were several families of Hummingbirds flitting around the feeders and a Cardinal was taking his morning dip in a watering bowl.  They all seemed happy and content which is always a good feeling for me when I can assist any living being in feeling happy and content.

How about you?  How have you received answers to the questions coming from your heart and head?

Mourning Doves